Thunder
by LisbethDreams
Summary: My take on the current  September 2010  storyline. Elizabeth has moved out of Wyndemere with the boys and baby Aiden, Nikolas is filling time. Based on spoilers played out now and pure wishful thinking on my part.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is a Nikolas & Elizabeth fic, stick with it and see. Based on spoilers (which have played out) and wishful thinking on my part.

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**Thunder – Just Noise**

Thunder crashes through the thick forest, lightening thrusting into the ground by the mare's hooves. The horse whinnies and cries out in fear. The dark rider digs his heels deep into the her sides, pulling the reigns until the bit pulls at her lips, her eyes roll back in her head, foam drips from her mouth as thunder rolls through the night sky.

"Damn it Sheba, you're going to kill us both," Nikolas curses as he attempts to regain control. "It's passing quickly, settle down."

He gets off the saddle and comes around to pet and sooth the mare. "There, there girl. All is well. We've been through a lot you and I. We'll get through this too."

He walks her to the stables, an hostler runs out in the biting rain to take Sheba from him, Nikolas thanks him before heading to the house. The front door opens as if it was waiting for its master's return.

"Master Nikolas the young lady, Miss Brook Lynn Ashton is here, I put her in the East reception room."

"The East room, not my study, now why would you do that Alfred? The East room is cold and unwelcoming."

"Quit right sir, it hasn't been dusted in months."

"So why did you? Never mind. I will escort her to my study, where you will have a warm fire and some brandy waiting."

"Yes Master Nikolas, as you wish."

"Insufferable old bat," Nikolas says affectionately under his breath as he stalks towards the East room.

He enters the room to find it dark and empty. The French doors were open, rain was pouring into the room. A lightening strike frames Brook standing outside leaning on the patio railing looking up into the stormy night sky.

"I don't think Alfred likes me, but that's not unusual. I've pretty much made an enemy of everyone here in Port Charles. Story of my life."

"Feeling sorry for yourself again?"

She turns to look at him, "Oh my God, what's happened to you? You look like shit."

"Thank you," Nikolas replies abashed. "Sheba and I had a bit of a disagreement this afternoon. Come in out of the rain, I've asked Alfred to start a fire in my study."

Seated comfortably by the fire Nikolas again asks why she is feeling sorry for herself.

"Dante hates me. Really hates me, not just temporarily mad at his old friend Brook but real hate. I ran into him at Kelly's. He told me off, politely. It's the politeness that told me our friendship is over. He was my best friend, my only friend in Benson Hurst. Lulu hates me, Maxie is cold to me, even Mike kicked my out of Kelly's. You would think I was a murderer or something."

"You did drug him."

"I know. It was my idea. Stupid of course, I was drugged once, it was horrible and embarrassing. That's why I couldn't go through with it, I saw what I was becoming. Carly's too good at telling lies. Lulu believed everything she said."

"Carly's had a lot of practice and Lulu's blindly loyal to certain family members. Stubborn too."

"Certain family members? Is she that loyal to you?"

"Not always. If she has to choose between loyalty to me or Lucky and Luke, I lose. To be fair, I haven't always deserved blind loyalty, nor do I expect it."

"Will she hate you for being nice to me?"

"Lulu doesn't get to decide who I am friends with, besides you are Emily's family and she would want me to help you."

"A huh, I am a charity case."

"Not charity. You are doing me a favor. Your problems are a wonderful distraction."

"From what? Or should I say whom?"

Nikolas get's up to look out the window at the falling rain. "From missing Elizabeth, Aiden, and even Cameron and Jake. Aiden is my son with Elizabeth. They were here such a short time. I knew I would miss them, I didn't know how much. Spence cried himself to sleep in Cameron & Jake's room the first night. He's too young to understand."

"I didn't know. Congratulations on the baby," Brook replied uncertainly. "Do you think she'll move back here when she returns?"

"I hope so. I want to give her everything I have and she doesn't want it. She never has. All she wants is to be loved, to love, and be a good mother to her boys. In the end I just want her to be happy."

"Your a good guy. She's probably realizing how much she's missing you now and will be back ready to claim you and this place. You might want to let her redecorate."

"She can do whatever she wants to make this place home, I won't mind. Actually, I would enjoy it. She helped decorate this room. It was her idea for the lighter colors. She and I discussed ideas as we took down the old things. We used to have lots of fun together," he said wistfully. "The only thing I regret about my decisions last year are the ones that hurt her."

"I feel that way about Dante."

"If your friendship is meant to be, he'll forgive you. It may take time. Is that why you can't go to Olivia for help, because you hurt Dante?"

"Nah, that's cause I want Johnny. Benson Hurst girls are vicious when it comes to protecting their men."

Nikolas laughs as he returns to his chair by the fire, "I can imagine. I'm seeing the two of you pulling out the other's hair."

"You mean like on 'Mean Girls' or 'Jersey Shore'? Yeah, it could happen. She's old though, like my Ma old, so I need to respect her age. But if she starts it, I'm all over that. I'll kick her ass."

"I'm sure you would."

"Since the storm has passed, I should be going," she says as thunder crashes. "Looks like I spoke to soon."

"Will you go to the Quartermaines?"

"Great-grandpa Edward would love it but Grandma Tracy and I don't get along. I think we're too much alike."

"You can stay here, at least for the night. That storm is too strong for the launch."

"Are you sure? Would Elizabeth mind?"

"She's a nurse, she wouldn't like it if I let you go out in this weather, that and I don't believe she thinks she has the right to an opinion about who stays here. In fact, I wonder if Emily's ghost is one reason she is uncomfortable here. I'll have Alfred get a guest room ready. Scratch that, you can have Helena's room. I know that one is clean. Just check under the pillows for knives."

"I will," she laughs as lightening strikes just outside the window. "And thanks."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thunderheads – A gathering storm**

"Can we go back to mommy's garden Aunt Sarah?" asks Jake.

"Yeah, can we? It was pretty," Cameron chimes in.

"It's not mommy's garden, it's Elizabeth Gamble Garden," their beleaguered aunt answers.

Elizabeth stops eavesdropping and opens the door to her worn out sister and two oldest boys. "Did you have a good day with Aunt Sarah?"

"Yeah," both boys reply and then they begin speaking over each other. "We saw a tall pine tree." "Jake almost got run over by a car." "It's sooooooo big, really tall and old."

"What? What's this about a car?"

Sarah gives Cameron a dirty look, "Thanks Cam, now your mother will never let me take you anywhere. There goes our trip to the park."

"It wasn't that bad mommy, Jake didn't listen is all. But he's just little. He'll do better next time."

"Cameron take Jake into the bedroom and go play while I have a talk with my sister. And do it quietly please, Aiden is sleeping." Elizabeth leans on the back of the couch and cocks her eye at her sister. "You look exhausted."

Sarah collapses theatrically against the closed front door. "I don't know how you manage. I'm dead, I have nothing left. You have no idea how hard this was. I was worried the entire time. I drove the car like mom, slower than slow. I was so worried that we'd get in an accident and I'd have to explain to you that I hurt your children. Then at at the garden, they would run off to see plants and I was always looking, always aware, constantly vigilant and I still managed to lose Jake. Just for a second. He was running out to the street. Thank God a stranger stopped him before he could step into oncoming traffic."

Elizabeth just laughes at her sister, "You should see yourself. You're a mess. It's okay Sarah. You did fine."

"How do you do it and still look so calm and refreshed all the time."

"A stop at hair and make up between every take. No seriously, I got used to being exhausted years ago."

"But now you have three little terrors, cute terrors, but terrors."

"I'll manage, I always do," Elizabeth answers as she pulls Sarah up off the floor.

The sisters relax with lemonade on the terrace, Sarah's is liberally spiked with rum to help her relax after her trying day.

"Have you decided what you're going to do when you go back to Port Charles?"

"No. It's complicated."

"Complicated huh. Sorry if I'm speaking out of turn Lizzy, but what you described to me about last year doesn't seem that complicated.. Either you have feelings for the man or you don't."

"It's not just that. It's everything." Elizabeth looks out into the distance where storm clouds are gathering. "I thought I knew who I was, what I wanted. What life I wanted. When Cameron was a baby, after a long shift at the hospital I would take him home, feed him and tuck him into his crib. I would watch him sleep for hours. Just watching him breath. Those hours were perfect. Just him and me, our little family. By the time Jake arrived I knew that all I wanted to be was a mother. I wanted all the little family moments I missed out on. Before last summer, I could honestly say that I would be content for the rest of my life if I could just watch and be with my children. I love to just look at them."

"And now?" Sarah encourages.

"I don't think I can or want to give up my idea of what a perfect family is."

"I'm no expert on marriage and family Elizabeth, but I've moved a lot for my job and one thing I know is that no matter where I live or work, my life doesn't change much. I'm still me, I still do the things I like. I've also learned that sometimes I have to do the things that make me uncomfortable, if for no other reason than to see if it's something ,that after getting over my original trepidation, I may actually enjoy. For example, taking my nephews out, without their mom, to a crowded garden." Sarah places her hand on Elizabeth's, "Let me tell you that having extra money (yay for my new high paying job) just makes it easier. Lizzy, children grow up and move away. What will you do then? Will you still have a life you love? Someone to love? Call him Lizzy, avoidance will not help you find the answers to any of these questions."

With that Sarah leaves Elizabeth alone with her thoughts. Elizabeth plays with her forgotten lemonade, not noticing the first few drops of rain. Wondering if the real reason she felt uncomfortable at Wyndemere was the size and richness of the place or if really she still doubted her place in Nikolas' heart and just how much she wants that place. A loud clap of thunder startles her, she picks up the glass and hurries indoors just as lightening streaks across the tumultuous sky.


	3. Chapter 3

Lightning – It burns

Elizabeth folds and places the last of Aiden's clothing into the luggage. She hesitates to close the bag and pulls out all the clothing again, frustrated she stuffs it back in, without any regard to the potential wrinkles. She slams the luggage shut, zipping and locking it.

Sarah asks from the doorway, " Are you sure you want to go back to Port Charles? They can always use good nurses in Palo Alto. You could stay here."

"That sounds wonderful but I can't. I'd just be running away from my problems and I can't do that anymore. It's not fair to me or my kids. I hurt Lucky and Nikolas because I wasn't brave enough to choose between them. I let fate decide things for me and then I pouted and was unhappy at the result. Lainey asked me what started the affair and why I kept having it. I never really answered her question, I couldn't. The answer to the question has been nagging me for awhile and I think I know the answer. I'm ready to let go, to move on from Lucky. I was ready a year ago but I let fear of the unknown control my actions. I wasn't using Nikolas to destroy my relationship with Lucky, I was using Lucky to protect me from my feelings for Nikolas."

"So why the hesitation about leaving?"

"I'm still afraid, afraid he doesn't love me … like that. That maybe I don't love him like that. I felt so much passion for him and the sex was wonderful. What if all it was, was scratching an itch? I'm afraid that perhaps I am just a replacement for Emily. That I'm not enough, not good enough, that I don't fit in his world."

"Lizzy you are good enough and you can fit in any world. Just have confidence in yourself. Confidence enough to ask for the answers you want. You won't find the answers here."

"I know. I thought I was ready to see him again but the closer we get to the flight the less I want to get on it. I know I need to and I will, it's time."

Sarah gives her little sister a hug, "I love you. Call me if you need anything."

Hours later Steve picks Elizabeth and the boys up from the Port Charles airport.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks as he stops the car near the peer.

"Yes, I need to see him, to talk to him," Elizabeth answers.

"Maybe you should call him first."

"I might lose my courage. Love you. There are bottles in the thermal bag for Aiden. I'll call and let you know when to expect me. That's my rented launch, I have to go."

The wind begins to pick up as the launch heads towards Spoon Island.

"This storm is blowing in fast, miss. Are you sure you don't want to turn around? I'll have to leave right away; I won't be able to stay and take you back," the launch captain tells her.

The captains offer tempts Elizabeth. She could turn around, go home and risk nothing. Her relationship with Nikolas wouldn't change. She grabs her jacket and pulls it tight around herself and with a brave smile answers, "I'm sure, go on."

As the launch reaches the island peer Elizabeth's heart begins to race. She's moments away from seeing Nikolas, from holding him. She waves the launch captain off and runs toward the house. As she nears the stables the rain falls in torrents, the wind whips at her, and lightening streaks the sky. Elizabeth decides it's safer to go to the stables and call the house.

She enters the stables and freezes at the sound of female laughter. She walks forward deciding that it must be Kristina and hopeful that Nikolas would be with her. Rounding the corner and about to say hello she freezes.

Standing before her is a young woman who looks vaguely familiar, kind of like an older version of Ned Ashton's daughter, Brook Lyn, and Nikolas. The young woman is close to him, her eyes are shiny with laughter, her hand plays with the top button of his shirt.

Elizabeth hears the girl say, "You know this wasn't the sort of ride I had in mind," and sees the girl claim Nikolas' lips.

Elizabeth freezes in place, shocked she sees Nikolas pull the girl closer to himself. He deepens the kiss. Elizabeth finds the will power to move, she backs out of the stables, her hand clutching at her heart. She debates running in and claiming Nikolas in a jealous fit or leaving gracefully and making her way to the house, coming up with a good excuse for coming over to the island in a storm.

With her heart aching she leaves the shelter of the stables and flees into the storm's tempest. She runs, not looking back. She doesn't hear the lightning as it strikes the stable, she doesn't see the fire.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thunderbolt – Out of the blue**

Nikolas put the saddle away and turned only to find Brook standing next to him. Her hand went to his collar and he heard, "You know this wasn't the sort of ride I had in mind," right before his lips were claimed by hers.

At first Nikolas, didn't move. He thought of Elizabeth. Love filled his heart, followed by hurt and angry he roughly pulled Brook up his chest, deepening the kiss. Neither noticed Elizabeth as she turned and raced into the storm. Lost in angry huger, he pushed Brook into the side of the horse as her hands worked at his shirt buttons.

An image of Elizabeth laughing broke the spell and Nikolas pushed away from Brook, "Dammit, what am I doing? I'm sorry, but I can't." His recriminations are stopped by a loud crack and a burnt ozone smell.

"Go to the house Brook, quickly," he said before heading out to investigate. He found the North corner of the stables on fire. He grabbed a nearby horse blanket and beat out the flames. Once he was sure the fire was out he called Alfred to tell him what happened and request the help of some stable hands before he checked on all the horses.

"Hey old buddy," he said rubbing King's Promise's nose. A thunder clap scared the horse. "It's okay the fire's out. Your safe and so am I. I almost did something very stupid tonight."

"What's that?" He heard a breathless voice say, a voice that made his own breath stop. He turned and exhaled, "Elizabeth." He stepped out of King's stall and asked, "What are you... how did you get here?"

"I was up at the house and Alfred told me about the fire." She pulled herself together and said very business like, "He told me you put it out with a blanket. Let me see your hands. I want to make sure you didn't burn yourself."

Still unbelieving that she was there Nikolas put out his hands and felt her soft cold hands envelope his. "I didn't know you had returned from California."

"I missed home. Your hands appear fine, dirty but fine." Her fingers didn't let him go. "You didn't answer my question, what stupid thing did you almost do tonight?"

"You ask that like you already know," he said clasping her hands tightly with his he kept her close. "Did you meet Brook up at the house? Whatever she said, nothing happened."

Elizabeth's eyes focused on their clasped hands, she couldn't look him in the eyes, "She said nothing happened. I saw the two of you, you see."

"You saw us? And you didn't say anything, didn't try to stop us? You are always jealous of the women in Lucky's life, I guess I really do mean nothing to you," he said as he let go of her hands.

Elizabeth walked away from him to pet King's mane, "I was jealous. I left because it hurt too much. I feel too much with you."

Nikolas' heart beat faster with each word."You feel too much with me," he prompted.

"I thought a lot about our affair while I was gone. About my actions in particular. I wondered if I was using you to protect myself from committing everything to Lucky again or if I was using Lucky to protect my heart from you."

Nikolas was almost afraid to ask, "What did you decide?"

Elizabeth turned to look at him, "I was using Lucky not you."

Nikolas felt relief flow throw him and he let go a breath he didn't know he was holding but he couldn't stop himself from asking,"Why? Were you worried that I wasn't over Emily? Because I am Elizabeth. I've thought about this a lot since last year. I've been over Emily for a long time. Even Rebecca wasn't about Emily so much as about filling an empty place in my life. Everyone said I wasn't over her, Alexis, Monica, Lulu,... you, it was just easier to go along. Even I thought I wasn't over her, but I was, I am. I will always love her but that doesn't mean I haven't moved on, or that there isn't room to love you just as much. I'm a different person Elizabeth. Part of who I am was formed by her, by our love for each other but I've changed."

Elizabeth stopped him by placing her hand over his heart, "I know that. I understand because I've changed too. I think I've known that since the beginning. I was using Emily's memory just as I was using Lucky as a way to protect myself."

"You don't need to protect yourself from me, Elizabeth. I love you. I only want your happiness."

"I believe you. But do you know how scary that can be? Looking back over the years you have been my one constant. Oh, we've fought but we've always had each other. You took care of me when we thought Lucky had died. You protected me from Helena. You helped me when my marriage to Lucky was spiraling out of control. I can't lose you, that's what I mean by I feel too much for you. I survived losing Lucky, I don't know if I could survive losing you. I always thought it was Lucky I needed, but I was wrong. You know [i]me[/i] better than anyone, you know my fears, my deepest fantasies and you still like me. I need that."

"Your stronger than you think Elizabeth. You always have been. You're a survivor. I've been afraid too. Everything you said works the other way. You're my best friend, you're the person who knows me best. You've challenged me from the beginning and I need that."

Elizabeth laughed and wiped a few tears from her eye, "I'm a fool. Are you sure you can love a fool?"

Nikolas' hand fondles her hair and he leaned his dirty forehead against hers, "I love you Elizabeth and I really need you to stop saying such ridiculous things about the woman I love."

Laughing some more Elizabeth replies, "You know I've been worried about how well I could fit in your world. I found living at Wyndemere daunting but seeing who you hired as an escort during my absence I think I'll fit in fine. We just might need to make a few small changes in regards to running the household."

"What ever you want; Alfred will see that it happens," Nikolas answered in relief before taking her lips with his. She sighed with contentment and returned the kiss, outside the storm began to settle.

_fini_


End file.
